It’s pretty hard to avoid toxic people. Sometimes they pop up in your family or work life. They’re the naysayers. The negative types. The type that put you down and has something to say about everything you do.

How to Spot a Naysayer

So, what exactly does a toxic person look like?

Well, some people are just a drag. They’re demanding, difficult, annoying, and downright unpleasant. They’re just not very nice and you may want to distance yourself.

Toxicity is sort of like a spectrum. One the one end, there are those old buddies who keep going on about how you don’t make time for them. On the other, there’s that ex-partner who can still manipulate you into a fit of rage. While your friends are annoying, your ex is toxic.

Of course, we all tolerate toxicity differently. It’s up to you to figure out if someone needs distance and when you should cut them out of your life.

Let’s look at the types of you should purge:
  1. The control freaks
Often, people who battle to control their own lives want to control yours. They look for ways to manipulate you and it’s time to kick them to the curb.
  1. Those with boundary issues
If you find you’re always telling a certain someone to stop behaving in a certain kind of way and they carry on, they’re probably toxic. Well-adjusted adults naturally respect boundaries. A toxic person thrives on pushing them.
  1. The takers
Give and take is an adulthood fundamental. Sometimes, you need a little help, and sometimes your friends do, too. But it all evens out. Not with toxic people who are just there to take so long as you’re giving.
  1. Those who are always right
Toxic people find ways to be right even when they’re not. They’ll never admit to messing up or misspeaking.
  1. The dishonest
White lies are one thing, but repeated and blatant patterns of dishonesty are a completely different story and often a tell-tale sign of naysayers.
  1. The victims  They will go out of their way to find ways to put you down and feel oppressed, be it excuses, blaming, and even rationalizations.
These probably sound familiar, so how do you go about removing yourself from the naysayers? Say Goodbye to Toxicity
  1. Stay firm
You need to stand your ground. Toxic people don’t often respond to a simple “go away.” In fact, they usually dig their claws in deeper. Don’t let this put you off. Be extremely clear and then keep your distance to ensure your message is not misconstrued.
  1. Put up boundaries
Stick to your guns. Fail to stand firm and naysayers will use any weakness they spot to sneak back in. If you decide you’re not going to respond to their texts, do not. Block them in every sense of the word. Don’t check up on them down the line. When you make the decision to end things, it’s up to you to keep the guidelines clear no matter what.
  1. Do not feel obligated to be nice
Well, not too nice. Toxic people take advantage of kindness. Understand that these people get energy from draining your good nature. They thrive on kindness and trust. You don’t need to be nasty, but don’t go out of your way to accommodate them, either.
  1. Saving them isn’t your job
Naysayers and toxic people always pop up when they want something. It’s a ploy for your attention. Never give in!
  1. Done is done
Toxic people are going to keep coming back given the chance. When you decide to part ways, it’s got to be permanent. They’ll keep trying to find ways to create a problem or some sort of drama, so move on for good when you’re ready.

Purging naysayers is hard work, I’ll admit. But if you set those boundaries and stand your ground, you can do it. And you can free up your time and headspace to move on to more positive pastures.


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